Post 100 is full of doom and gloom

Remember when I shared my secret fears about taking in 2 boys from foster care outside of our comfort/age range? No? Oh...check it out here...Done reading that? Did you see the amazing, supportive comments from the always beautiful Jeannie at One Wish Short...of Paradise? She has been an absolute angel and one of my biggest supporters.

So...truth is that we weren't prepared to parent a child with major rage issues and suicidal idealations. D and I found this out the hard way the first weekend in December when one of the boys had a 26 hour rage where he tried to hurt himself, kicked at a kitten, tore up his bedroom, threatened multiple times to kill himself and me, and saw/heard things that weren't there. I ended up having to call the police to come take him to the hospital to make sure he was ok after HOURS of pounding his head into the walls. He was admitted to the children's psych ward where he  stayed for 4 days.
We stayed in constant communication with the therapists and case workers asking for help or news and received nothing. D and I had a long, hard discussion and decided that it would be best for everyone is this little boy didn't live with us. He needed someone who had experience raising children with emotional and attachment disorders. We weren't given support by the team that was supposed to be helping us and I made the hardest decision I've ever had to make.
We will not be getting the boys.

Throughout all of this I have learned a few things:
1- Stay true to who I am and what dreams I have. If I'm not, everyone involved ends up getting hurt.
2- I have some of the best friends and supporters ever. I have received so many good wishes and reminders that this doesn't make me a failure or a bad person.
3- Mrs. Duggar has 20 children. That is God's plan for her...not for me. (Thank you, Sarah for that!)

I'll be tooling around with the blog for a while and starting fresh in the new year. Happy holidays and I love you guys!
-
Jenna