So... What's new?

So... We took a couple years and thought about what we wanted and we decided to let go of adoption for a while (children are still in the ultimate plan.. just not this second) and we bought a house in a small town outside of Omaha.

Say hello to the King Manor a.k.a. The Money Pit. Follow along as we retool the blog and share the stories that come with purchasing a house built in 1886.  While we try to get our crap together, please browse through our house. And marvel over the collection of hideous wallpaper.

The Upstairs bathroom.  Missing tiles on the vanity and nothing matches. 

Our back deck

Gazebo on back deck

Spare bedroom

Dining room

Front of Garage

Kitchen

Living room

Master Bedroom

Stairway

Post 100 is full of doom and gloom

Remember when I shared my secret fears about taking in 2 boys from foster care outside of our comfort/age range? No? Oh...check it out here...Done reading that? Did you see the amazing, supportive comments from the always beautiful Jeannie at One Wish Short...of Paradise? She has been an absolute angel and one of my biggest supporters.

So...truth is that we weren't prepared to parent a child with major rage issues and suicidal idealations. D and I found this out the hard way the first weekend in December when one of the boys had a 26 hour rage where he tried to hurt himself, kicked at a kitten, tore up his bedroom, threatened multiple times to kill himself and me, and saw/heard things that weren't there. I ended up having to call the police to come take him to the hospital to make sure he was ok after HOURS of pounding his head into the walls. He was admitted to the children's psych ward where he  stayed for 4 days.
We stayed in constant communication with the therapists and case workers asking for help or news and received nothing. D and I had a long, hard discussion and decided that it would be best for everyone is this little boy didn't live with us. He needed someone who had experience raising children with emotional and attachment disorders. We weren't given support by the team that was supposed to be helping us and I made the hardest decision I've ever had to make.
We will not be getting the boys.

Throughout all of this I have learned a few things:
1- Stay true to who I am and what dreams I have. If I'm not, everyone involved ends up getting hurt.
2- I have some of the best friends and supporters ever. I have received so many good wishes and reminders that this doesn't make me a failure or a bad person.
3- Mrs. Duggar has 20 children. That is God's plan for her...not for me. (Thank you, Sarah for that!)

I'll be tooling around with the blog for a while and starting fresh in the new year. Happy holidays and I love you guys!
-
Jenna

HOOCHIE MAMA!!!!!

You remember the Seinfeld episode where Frank (George's Father) took to screaming HOOCHIE MAMA when he needed a reminder to calm it down, right? Oh...you don't?! Whatevs. I will scream HOOCHIE MAMA as often as I can!!

HOOCHIE MAMA HOOCHIE MAMA HOOCHIE MAMA HOOCHIE MAMA HOOCH... HOOCH.... HOOCHIE MAMA!!!
There now...don't we feel better?!

My internet sister-from-another-http://mister, Jeannie @ One Wish Short of Paradise and I are teaming up to bring you Serentiy Saturdays. (Now do you understand the Hoochie Mama reference?!)
 In a season that has increasingly become crazy hectic with shopping and going above and beyond working to create the perfect memories with family in fear that you will one day end up in the 8th layer of Hell with Martha mocking your imperfect cookies and scorning your attempts to make a card worthy Christmas tree and telling you all about how you have defrauded your children of a P.E.R.F.E.C.T. Christmas while your sores fester and pop (Too gross? Imma have my Geryon fly us out of here pronto, yo!) we decided it would be an ideal time to take a few minutes to lift yourself up and get a moment of serenity.

Jeannie and I are asking that you join us in 10 minutes of meditation every day. That is 10 minutes of breathing in, and breathing out with your eyes closed, and your mind empty. Just Breathe. As part of Jeannie's meditation she recite her mantra: "Let it go. I am enough. I am strong. I am beautiful. I am loved. Let it go."
 That message is so strong and so empowering  and something that we just don't say enough. I don't know about you but I have a hard time cutting myself some slack (and saying 'no') and it leaves me feeling worn down and empty at the end of the season.
Aside from FOCUSED BREATHING, we are doing yoga (Jeannie has some awesome links on her post so check it out), and journaling. Yes...that means I'll probably be writing more than one post every 3 months. But if I fail to do that, I will remind myself that I am enough. I am strong. I am beautiful. I am loved. And I will let it go.
The key part of Serentiy Saturday is to take a moment and build yourself up. We will be meeting back at Jeannie's place (on the web of course!) on Saturday to link up posts and encourage and uplift each other.  We are linking up every Serenity Saturday but we are breathing, yogaing, and journaling EVERY DAY (If possible!).
So...whatchu think, boo? You going to join us? Coo'!
Oh...I'm using the Yoga for Weight Loss DVD for my yoga sesh.

As promised, my Christmas tree!

I hate it when a llama named Carl stabs me 37 times and eats my hands.

I'm filling this post with lots of memes. I just wanted to pop up when this was searched. :)

With the gluttoney of the holiday season upon us, D and I are embarking on a No Spend Month. We certainly aren't the first to do it and it is TOTES not our idea of fun.
Due to some unforseen circumstances we have a large payment we have to make next Monday. We just moved into the new house and bascially we are First World Broke. We have enough money to pay for the basics but we are not able to spend much money this month. No worries, we will not go hungry. They boys might end up hungry if they decide to continue being picky eaters but that is their choice.

We have a nice stockpile of food thanks to over purchasing for the past couple months and we plan on eating our way through the cupboards and spending as little on groceries as possible.
So..here are the rules (ya know...if you want to join me in saving moolah and changing your spending habits):
1- If it is not necessary, don't buy it. Yes, hubs...that means out of the 8 lightbulbs you want to purchase we will only be purchasing 2. And they're for the boy's bedroom. The rest of the lights are unnecessary. And it includes the 5 hour energy drinks...get to bed before midnight and you'll be fine. Plus we bought a Kuerig coffee machine specifically for you to make coffee every morning. USE IT! It also includes Scentsy bricks, new shelves, and all the other little things I want to buy to make the house more homey. It can wait. It is not important.

2-If you are going to starve to death, BUY it! But if it is just one item that would make a dish "perfect" suck it up and deal.

3-Grocery shop but limit the extra purchases. Do we need paper towels? Yes. More toilet paper? No. We can make it the month with the last 5 rolls. A little note to my boys- IF YOU CONTINUE TO USE 1/4 A ROLL TO WIPE YOUR HEINIE I WILL HIDE THE ROLLS AND YOU WILL HAVE TO COME TO ME TO GET TP BEFORE YOU GO TO THE BATHROOM.  We are *NOT* going to continue going through one roll a weekend when we can go 2.5 weeks on one roll.

Alright. I have your attention! My goal is to spend no more than $300 on gas and groceries...for the month. We normally spend between $600-$800 on food and $450 on gas for the month. This is going to work. I am determined to make it work.
Oh..don't feel sorry for us. That big payment we have to make is to be able to take the boys on our 7 day cruise with us in January. It's their big xmas gift. ;) I will make this work.

30 acts of Kindness

I turned 30 last week and my goal was to accomplish 30 acts of kindness over the weekend. I was going to include the boys and spend the weekend doing things for others.
That SO didn't happen. I used all 30 acts on the kids. I'm counting 20 acts of kindness for not killing them. That's a big deal! They were SOOO annoying all weekend! Between the asking for an itinerary every. twenty. minutes to asking for new downloads to the ipod every. twenty. minutes to not using manners to telling me the list of foods they "hate" and won't eat including every. single. vegetable, I've pretty much been counting to twenty to cool myself down.
Maybe I've been a bit ambitious. Maybe I should just take all dang month to complete 30 acts of kindness. What a better way to lead up to Thanksgiving than that?
So! Here is the game plan; my 30 ideas for acts of random kindness:

1. Put quarters a couple candy machines outside of stores
2. Donate items to goodwill DONE!!! I cleaned out some gently used clothes and Halloweeen decorations as we were moving stuff into the new house this weekend!
3. Tuck a $1 bill in a couple of book sat the library
4. Buy a gallon of gas on a random pump.
5. Buy a Mud Ball at the Old Market Candy Shoppe for a random person. What?! You don't know what a Mud Ball is?! It's only the whole reason we moved to Omaha! Nah..it's just a benefit! They are these amazing little balls of oreo goodness covered in rich chocolate!
6. Print out inspiring quotes and leave them downtown.
7. Drop a LOVE LETTER in a random mailbox
8. Drop off some children's books at Children's Hospital.
9. Clean out the cache of travel sized soaps and toothpaste and donate them to the Rainbow House for the families staying there.
10. Mail out some "thinking of you" packets to some girls who need some extra lovin'.
11. Make cookies for the new neighbors.
12. Drop off some cookies for the waitresses at Jimmy's Egg.
13. Purchase an apple pie for the person behind me at McDonald's.
14. Bring home baked goodies to the new fire department.
15. Hand out balloons to kids downtown.
16. Leave a box of wax paper at the slides downtown.
17. Leave some Wendy's Frosty coupons in the kids' play area at the mall.
18. Leave a surprise gift for my Little.
19. Mail out pictures of the boys to my grandmother.
20. Gather the old blankets and towels and donate them to the SPCA.
21. Leave encouraging notes on cars at the gym.
22. Send a NICE note to someone I don't like. <-- totes a tough one.
23. Make dinner AND do the dishes so the hubs can watch tv...ANY show of his choice!!
24. Give the boys a bubble bath instead of showers. (It just takes SO MUCH TIME!)
25. Send a card full of love to the boys at their foster mom's house.
26. Send a card to the foster mom.
27. Send a card to the other kids in the foster home.
28. Let the boys stay up late and sleep in.
29. Give D a foot rub.
30. Pack D's lunch with a love letter in it.

I'll post pictures as they occur! What about you? What have you done to make someone's day lately??

Can I handle it?

I'm taking my cue from Megan at Millions of Miles and buckle your seatbelts because we're in for a ride.

I'm anxious about writing this (and everythign else right now too!) because we've just started down the long road to adopting our boys from foster care. If I can't handle this now, how am I EVER going to handle this?

THAT is how I'm going to handle this!

For the past month and a half D & I have been testing the waters of parenting by picking up MonkeyFace and StringBean on the weekends to make sure that they were comfortable with us and us with them before we sprung the Big News on them. After 5 weekends we sat down in a tiny room at Boys Town to meet with the Team....of like TWELVE people! Holy crap! This is a big complicated case and for that reason I can't use their names of post pictures of them. During the meeting we got the indepth details of what had been glossed over and really understood what we were getting ourselves into. We decided to move forward because we felt that we could handle the depth of hurt, anxiety, and fear of abandonment  that these boys carry around with them. Heck, I thought I could handle it with GRACE and HUMOR and not let it touch me. In short, I thought I could be a Perfect Mom. You know the kind..the kind that has fresh healthy snacks available after school and who hosts the perfect sleepovers and always has an amazing home cooked meal on the table every night.
Right. I TOTES thought I could be June Freaking Cleaver while holding a full time job, continuing my volunteer work with Big Brothers Big Sisters, sit on the board of Blessings in a Basket and organize their Adoption Walk in November, preside as President of the Southwest Omaha Optimist Club and still have a tiny bit left over to be a good wife and possibly find some me time.

Then we picked them up for our weekend after the case workers had told them that they were moving to live with us with adoption as a possible goal. Friday night was smooth sailing. Saturday night was a little rougher. MonkeyFace shared some of his secret fears and worries and broke my heart before he fell asleep. Sunday comes and I swear MonkeyFace grew horns and started harvesting souls!



This kid is freaking SCARY!

 Ok..maybe it wasn't THAT bad but seriously, I was *NOT* prepared for this! He was screaming "Don't touch me!" and "I'm going to tell everyone that you abuse me and they'll give me a NEW foster mom!" and banging his head and trying to break a chair and I refuse to believe that the meltdown was over kiwis. MonkeyFace is defiant as all get out! But then again, so am I.
I forgot all of the things I'm supposed to do and got into a battle of wills with a 10 year old. Right. Take a deep breath.  Give him time to cool down.  Use humor when I talk to him.  Ignore him until he starts acting like a human and NOT the spawn of Satan himself.  DO NOT LET HIM MAKE YOU ANGRY! 
NoooOOoOOooO...I didn't do ANY of that. Instead, I chose to argue with him and provide him with an audience until his temper tantrum had escalated to the point that I was so worried I called his foster mom and she reminded me all the things I'm supposed to do: Take a deep breath.  Give him time to cool down.  Use humor when I talk to him.  Ignore him until he starts acting like a human and NOT the spawn of Satan himself.  DO NOT LET HIM MAKE YOU ANGRY!
That along with a little break (THANK YOU, Hubs!) helped right the situation. I reminded him that he did not, in fact, have to come live with us but that his brother was and if he was going to act like he wasn't part of the family then he was going to be treated like he wasn't part of the family so he would be eating a PB&J sandwich while we at McDonalds (there goes the home cooked meal. It wasn't my fault!! I had Satan's seed thrashing around the bedroom while I tried to cook dinner!). He quickly came over and apologized and told me he was scared and worried and didn't want to move to a new home.

3 hours from the beginning of the Meltdown, we brought them back to their foster mom and I swear I aged 10 years. Now you have all the back story and I'm going to be honest with you.
I'm scared I can't do this.
I'm anxious I'm going to make a mistake and fail.
I'm worried that I'm not able to provide what the boys need.
I'm heartbroken that they are heartbroken and I know I can't wave my magic wand and fix it.
I'm having a hard time sleeping because various scenarios run through my head and I can't shut my brain off.
I'm worried that I won't love them enough.
I'm worried that they won't feel loved.
I'm anxious and scared and worried ALL day about everything and it has started to affect my work.
I'm making a call to my doctor and we're going to restart the Lexapro. It has been 2 years since I've needed it (I took it right after our failed infertility treatments) and I just need a little something to help me deal with the stress from all the changes.
Y'all...I feel like a failure and it has only been ONE rough weekend. How the hell am I going to do this everyday? If you could send some love and support my way, I'd appreciate it.
xxoo

Bursting at the seams!

I have been DYING to share our good news! D & I will be adopting 2 boys out of foster care! Beanpole (13) and MonkeyFace (10) will be joining our family over Christmas break and starting school in January. We have been picking them up during the weekends and we will slowly start to transition them into our home.
We are thrilled to be able to complete our family this way. :)

Hey Chambersburg, PA!

Don't be a stranger! :) Click the "Join This Site" button and become a friend! I loves me some new friends!! :D

Still waiting...

We had guests in our home this weekend who wanted to go to church. Luckily for me, the sermon was on Abraham and Sarah and their promise from God. Feel free to read that in a greatful voice or a sarcastic voice. It was typed with both. I'm so tired to being patient and I'm so tired of being told that everything happens in HIS time. Except this time the story really spoke to me. I mean holy crap on a stick, man! They waited for something like TWENTY FOUR YEARS before they got pregnant with Isaac. I'm 1/4 of the way there!



I'm still waiting....

In the dark

I'm keeping all my readers in the dark about our BIG SECRET. I'll give you a couple hints:
1-We've done this before.
2-It was not successful.
3-It has to do with parenting.

That's ALL I'm saying! :)

I'm NOT letting the cat out of the bag!

Shhh...it is a secret!

There is big news on the way! But it is a secret! :P Just make sure to send good thoughts our way tomorrow night!

Ugh...take 2

I originally posted this in February after finding out we were wait listed once again for the adoption program at Lutheran Family Services. Change the word "August" to "February" and it's the same story just a different month. At this point, D & I don't know what we're going to do. Domestic adoption has always been where our passion lies so maybe we'll focus on identified adoption through a private attorney. IDK...we have some thinking to do.

Alright, people. I'm going to 'splain this once and ONLY once. We were not selected for the Lutheran Family Services' adoption program. We will be reinterviewing for a position in the program in August. At that point, we will be given priority and they will try to fit us into the program any way they can. It is not due to us, our preparedness for adoption, our income, our credit, our home, our personalities or anything else that we can control. The program has 25 wiating families and needs to offer a decent selection for the expectant mothers to choose from. We just happen to be a little too common-Young(ish) working parents living in West Omaha without children. Right now they're looking for people who already have children to add to the program.

Interviewed with LFS last Wednesday....

WE

FIND

OUT

WEDNESDAY

Saddened

Back in March I wrote this post about how I made some changes to grow in my life and lost a friend. I've tried hard to not talk about her behind her back or to hate on her just because she was able to take a big leap forward and purchase a house while D and I were still paying off debt. I was excited for her new home purchase and hurt by how she was acting and frankly I was just fed up with the way our lives were being turned into a competition. I felt (and still feel) that I am in competition with no one but me.  We chose to part ways and we haven't had contact with each other for almost 6 months.

Oh, Facebook! How I love and hate thee! While Facebook stalking my sister (what?! you do it too so shuddup! ;P) the old friend's name popped up. She had changed her profile picture to include her daughter whom I had been VERY close to and still love. (D described her as the kind of kid who is a shooting star that sparkles across the night sky and makes every other kid look plain around her. Pretty poetic, huh?! It's not that she's drop dead gorgeous; she is a cute kid but it is her personality that makes her special. She's bright and funny and bubbly and just SPECIAL. I miss her terribly!) Naturally, I felt the need to stalk her.

Some kids are born to shine.

In the past 5 1/2 ish months something has gone wrong. I got licensed to marry this girl to the husband of her dreams. I planned the short spur of the moment ceremony and cried as they kissed. I supported her in her attempts to achieve her dream life. You know: 2.5 kids, white picket fence...the ultimate suburban dream that we both shared. We shared marital frustrations and joys and I LOVED this girl. We were inseparable until that competition seeped into our relationship and even then I never stopped caring for her.
In my FB Stalking I found out that she moved cross country back to her family and recently changed back to her maiden name and unfriended her husband. I truly hope that my stalking is incorrect and that everything is good with them.
My heart is breaking for them and I sent her a message letting her know that I'm still here to talk and that I don't need the deets. I'm not a saint and I say I TRIED not to talk crap on her...not that I succeeded. But I did keep my venting to a very limited group of people that have no ties to her.
If you're reading this, can you send lots of love and positive thoughts to her and her hubby. I'm thinking they might really need some right about now. And J, I meant it when I said that this friendship wasn't disposable. PJ and I didn't talk for a good 3 years. Call me. Message me. Email me. You have my contact information and I care about you. xx

Blessings In A Basket

BIB made me a board member a couple months ago and I've been reticent in getting my introductory blog post out there. I finally did it and you can read all about my quirkiness and the AMAZING work BIB does here: http://www.bigtoughgirl.blogspot.com/

It's that time again...

Lutheran Family Services has called to see if we are still interested in their infant adoption program!!! We will get a call next week to schedule our interview again! I'm torn..our adoption fund is running waaaaay low and we planned on buying a house this spring. I don't think we can do both. Obviously the baby comes first but I won't be devistated if we get pushed back to the Spring enrollment. On the other hand, I won't be devistated if we don't buy a house for another year or two.
So... basically, I'm saying that I'm at peace with the whole thing? Yeah. I'm confused too. :)

Reflections

I wrote this about 2 weeks ago after we were matched with a 16 year old girl from the Nebraska foster system and never posted it. It's basically our doubts and my worry that we weren't giving her a fair chance. I'm following up with our thoughts and feelings from our second meeting on Saturday.

After what feels like FOREVER we had our first meeting with Miss B, the almost 16 year old we're thinking of adopting.
We met at a hole in the wall pizza place in an area I wouldn't live in even if I was PAID to live there (I'm such a snob!) and ordered a pizza and cinnamon monkey bread. I know you're all here to read about how the monkey bread was delicious when it was warm and soo gooey and easy to pull apart! ;)
Miss B was shy; she didn't look at me much. She was too busy texting during the WHOLE FREAKING MEETING and when she wasn't texting or chowing down, she was burping like a man. Seriously..like at LEAST 10 times! She was polite and quiet and didn't really answer any questions that we had. She did her best to skirt around the conversation until she got a little more comfortable with us.  
Here's the thing...isn't that a typical 16 year old?
She doesn't like cats, camping, swimming, being out in the open water and isn't fond of the idea of going on a cruise. There wasn't an instant spark and it wasn't love at first sight but it was a first meeting. I'm not willing to throw in the towel just because she doesn't like a lot of the things we do. I wasn't expecting a love affair-this kid has been in the system for almost 10 years..she's not very trusting and she's never really had a family.
We're going to move forward and try and focus on what we have in common:
Miss B and I like scary movies, shopping, and girlie girl things like getting our hairs did and our nails did. We both enjoy volunteer work and cooking even though she doesn't have a lot of experience under her belt.
D and Miss B both like pepperoni pizza....Yeah. I'm out of things that they have in common.
Is it wrong to cancel the match and move on because they don't have a lot of things in common? I mean, she's not a cat at an animal shelter; she's a kid in desperate need of a family who loves her. On the other hand, when do you decide it's not a good match? She's very independent; she's been on the run for 5 months! She knows how to take care of herself even if it's not the best way to take care of herself. She's got friends that she's very attached to that do things that are just unacceptable in our home. She's kind of ghetto and seems to really enjoy the lifestyle she has now.
***************
Reflections from our unsupervised Saturday Visit.
We waited *FOREVER* for Miss B's foster mom to call to set up our meeting. We got the approval on Tuesday at noon-ish and she didn't call until Friday at 6:30pm-ish. I had spoken with Miss B on Friday morning and let her know what our plan was: Breakfast, Farmer's Market, bowling, dinner, movie, drop off at home around 9:30 pm. When Foster Mom called she said that Miss B didn't want to go bowling because she already went on Friday...that's right-after I told her we were going on Saturday. Instead, Miss B proposed that she go get her nails done. Um. No.
Getting your nails done is not something that we can bond over and certainly not something that D would want to do. Miss B also made it clear that she wanted to be home by 6pm so that she can have her "me" time and hang out with her friends. I get that her friends are very important to her but I would think that if she was serious about getting to know us and possibly becoming part of our family she would see where the day took her and be willing to spend time with us.
We picked her up at about 8am and she was in a pair of black sweatpants turned inside out and a white undershirt with clogs on. My first impression was that she was still in her pajamas! I know she has real clothes! She has a million different pictures on Facebook in a million different outfits. We went to breakfast at a little bistro downtown and she complained about the whole menu; apparently it was weird and nothing looked good. After breakfast, we walked the Farmer's Market downtown quickly because she was getting too hot. Sweat pants in 90 degree weather isn't the best fashion choice...just sayin'! Then we went to our place to go to the pool. There was a LIST of complaints:
The back seat in the Jeep was too small
We lived too far west (Keep in mind she wanted a white family in West O that wasn't ghetto.)
Our neighborhood and the school she would be going to wasn't "diverse" enough (Kudos to her for being PC!)
The girls at our pool were stuck up and full of themselves (quite the opposite...they played with the little kids in the pool and were very friendly)
The bedroom that would be hers was too small
Our apartment was too small (it's a spacious 3 bedroom!)
The cats shed too much hair
I don't know what she expected but she didn't really seem to enjoy herself. She didn't seem to like us, our home, our neighborhood or our lifestyle. She made it very clear that she wasn't enjoying herself or enjoying spending time with us so we ended the trip around 4:30 pm with a short stop at the mall and then we dropped her off at home.
I'd say that this is enough for us to realize that we aren't the kind of parents that she wants and that she wouldn't be happy with us. :( I'm disappointed but at least we found our early on before we got attached or she got attached (which is doubtful).
We're still open to adopting from the foster system but now we're looking further out of state. Anyone have experience adopting from foster care or any suggestions for us? Are we being too picky? Let me know what you think!

Herding Cats

GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Whew! It felt good to get that out!! CSI (the private company that manages the Nebraska Heart Gallery) and Nebraska Families Collaborative (the STATE!) are both working on background checks and finger prints and a million other little things but are having a hard time working TOGETHER!
I sent over my background check from Big Brothers Big Sisters a little over a week ago to CSI. As of Friday, CSI hadn't sent it to NFC. So I talked with my super fabulous worker at CSI and she emailed it over to NFC. NFC couldn't review it because it was too late for her on a Friday. She said she'll TRY to review it this afternoon but if not it will have to wait until next week because she is off MONDAY, TUESDAY, WEDNESDAY, THURSDAY, FRIDAY, SATURDAY, & SUNDAY of this week!!!!!!!!!!! GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Until our background checks are reviewed, we can't have any contact with Miss Queen B. I truly feel like I"m herding cats up in here!

I've had a chance to talk (via FB) with a fabulous almost 16 year old girl. My heart is just so full of love for her and it is truly wonderous to me. I haven't even met her yet and she's got a firm hold of me. I think I'm falling in love. It's so odd to me.
B has had a rough life but that's her story, not mine to tell. Hopefully she'll share it one day. She wants a home where she can just relax and "be safe" and be a normal teenager.  Oh, how my heart hurts to think of what she's gone through and I just want to give her the world. She should have the messy bedroom full of girlie colors and glitter with posters on the wall and an unmade bed. She should have sleep overs with friends and giggle until the middle of the night. She should have family dinners at a table and chores and homework and a family that loves her so much they would die for her. She's not even 16; she should have a childhood.
I'm trying to be patient, I really am. The foster system is just SO frustratingly slow! Everything has a minimum 72 hour turnaround time! I'll try to keep

Shake Shake Shake...shake your snowglobe

Deciding to adopt is kind of like living in a snow globe. There's a flurry of action and your world is turned upside down and then everything settles until the next flurry of action.
Apparently, I like having my world turned upside down because....

DUN

DUN

DUUUUUUUN

D and I have been talking with the Child Saving Institute about adopting a TEENAGE GIRL!!!   We have our second meeting on Friday with her case manager and then we meet her on Saturday. If all goes well, she will move in before school starts in August and we will be able to adopt her after 6 months. I'll leave y'all with that little tidbit of news until we get through this weekend.

Oh, and btw...the age difference between B & me is only 14 years. ;)